Tilda and the Gangster 4

Fred carefully laid out a square of mackintosh before kneeling down to his work. He struggled a bit with the process, but changing a tire was all a part of the age of the automobile. Except in the cities, the roads in those days were not much more than muddy tracks. A car jounced and slid around terribly and a flat tire was an expected part of any road trip.

After the battle with the tire and all its parts was finished, Fred put his tools away and was just folding up his mackintosh when he heard the approach of a horse drawn conveyance of some kind. But above the sound of the approaching vehicle, he heard the most awful crooning he'd ever heard.

Silvy, Silvy, all on one day,
She dressed herself in man's array,
A sword and pistol all by her side,
To meet her true love she did ride.

The noise was awful!

She met her true love all in the plain,
'Stand and deliver, kind sir,' she said,
'Stand and deliver, kind sir,' said she,
Or else this moment you shall die.'

"I might want to die," thought Fred.

Soon the rig came into view. Fred recognized Alvin seated beside a woman of somewhat advanced age. She was driving a farm wagon pulled by a bay and a piebald and singing her old woman heart out. If one could call it singing, that is. The cackling and croaking noises were certainly not in any way melodic.

"Fred, my friend, this is the Mrs. Josiah Higgins," Alvin had to shout to be heard. "She has graciously offered us her home for the night or for as long as we desire to stay."

The said Mrs. Higgins finally stopped her verse as Fred turned to introduce her.

"Mrs. Higgins, ma'am, is my long time friend, Fred. Fred is somewhat apprehensive of becoming beholden to others," Alvin offered as explanation. "I will have to briefly discuss your hospitable offer with him."

"Well, don't take all day about it. I'm itching to have a ride in that auto of yours before it gets dark."

After a short discussion, the men decided to stay the night with Mrs. Higgins. It was a decision they would come to regret. But for now, Alvin eagerly hopped back into the wagon with their hostess. He had taken a fancy to her eccentricities. They continued a short distance past the DeSoto until Mrs. Higgins found a spot wide enough to turn the wagon around easily.

Just as Mrs. Higgins had maneuvered the wagon toward home, Fred fired up the DeSoto. Mrs. Higgins' faithful team jumped and jerked and pulled the wagon into the field along the road. The bay pulled one way and the piebald the other, each snorting and bucking and kicking. Even so, they somehow managed to drag the wagon substantial distance across the greening fields with Alvin and Mrs. Higgins clinging to the seat for dear life.

Eventually the horses wore themselves out of their panic. Mrs. Higgins got down and whispered her own peculiar brand of sweet nothings in their ears. They were soon calm enough for her to climb back aboard and steer them toward home.

Mrs. Higgins did not miss the opportunity to serenade the company once again.

I'll take you home again, Kathleen
Across the ocean wild and wide
To where your heart has ever been
Since you were first my bonnie bride.

After listening to Mrs. Higgins' latest selection, Fred mumbled under his breath, "And starting the car scared the horses? Would somebody please explain that to me?"


"Man, oh, man, I thought we'd never get rid of them, Miss Trudy." Oskar sighed. "We've got lots of work ahead of us if we want to be ready for our next guests."

Tall and lean Oskar Carlson was Miss Trudy's neighbor. He was always on hand to help out when she needed a man around the place. But they also shared another, more nefarious hobby. Oskar helped Miss Trudy operate her still, deep in the woods between her barn and the Fish River.

"Oskar, we've plenty of our product ready for the gentlemen to sample. If they want more, they will know where to find us. I am quite certain that ours is the finest product of the sort in Minnesota's northwoods.